Every year I look forward to the Golden Globe Awards. Why? Beats the hell outta me. I mean, really. Do these rich bastards really need more applause…more gushing…more congratulations? Hell no. But yet, like a fly to shit…I am drawn to the fabulousness, glamour and fantasies about my own acceptance speeches.
I would like to thank all of those assholes who called me bucky and jock-itch. I would like to thank all those guys for dumping me like a ton of bricks over…and over…and over. I would like to thank all those people who thought I was just a weirdo who wanted attention. And most of all I would like to thank that plastic surgeon who said I should just accept my Wisconsin body and be happy with the midwestern life. This award goes to all those asshats out there with a big ole side of screw you……….
They like me!!! They really like me…….
Heather…wake up. Heather!! HEATHER – WAKE THE HELL UP!!
Shit. Sorry guys. (yawn)
Anywho…I admit that I do like some of the award ceremonies. Oscars, Emmys and my favorite, Golden Globes. The GGs are always more entertaining. I am pretty sure they are served alcohol during the show and that has got to make a world of difference. The speeches are often humorous which is a major bonus. And I appreciate that it celebrates television AND film.
So ok, ok, ok…while clearly I have not watched EVERYthing nominated, I have watched quite a few. And I will now give to you my winner predictions. If I am spot on accurate – feel free to send ME some sort of award.
**When I started this post, it was my intention to have it published before the show, I mean…duh..makes sense, right? But WordPress was being super weird and would not save or publish anything so I had to re-do much of the post. Very frustrating. So I decided to incorporate the prediction blog with the review blog. So this will be long – my apologies.
The Big Screen
Best Picture, Drama
Argo, Django Unchained, Life of Pi, Lincoln, Zero Dark Thirty
(did not see Django or Pi)
My prediction: Zero Dark Thirty
My Choice: Argo
My Take: Zero Dark Thirty WAS quite impressive. And I feel that it is more of an Academy choice…more popular and sensational. But for some reason I feel like Argo had just a tad more to offer. Argo didn’t benefit from the assistance of gorgeous costumes or brilliant special effects. This film took a story out of recent history – added some additional nuances for entertainment value and laid it out there with only the might of writing, direction and acting. And I gotta tell ya, I love a movie that can make you sit on the edge of your seat AND provide bursts of laughter. Argo really surprised me. Affleck really surprised me. And while I really liked ZDT as well – I did find Argo to have more than one level of entertainment and I guess I just liked the story better. I did also like Lincoln. I liked it a lot. But it just did not grab me like Argo did. It was so hyped that perhaps I was expecting more out of Lincoln.
Needless to say, I am thrilled about the choice – but really quite surprised. And it was clear that many people in that theater last night were also surprised. I heard gasps and saw looks of confusion when the winner was announced. I think this is great and deserved for Affleck (who also won best director!!).
P.S. Creepy, fun fact: Affleck looks SO much like my dad did in the 70s…
Best Picture, Comedy/Musical
Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, Les Miserables, Moonrise Kingdom, Salmon Fishing in the Yemen, Silver Linings Playbook
(Have ONLY seen Moonrise Kingdom and Silver Linings Playbook)
My Prediction: Les Miserables
My Choice: Silver Linings Playbook
Winner: Les Miserables
My Take: I had really no interest in seeing Silver Linings Playbook. I may have caught one or two ads for it so I didn’t know what it was even about. I have never been a fan of Bradley Cooper‘s and don’t remember ever loving any of his movies. When I heard it was up for so many awards, I was baffled and assumed that some Hangover-esque Rom-Com had finally invalidated the award ceremonies for good.
Well, I decided to watch and I was forced to admit that I was SO wrong. So wrong. I absolutely adored this movie. It felt real, it was well-acted, great soundtrack, fantastic writing…I just really, really enjoyed this movie. However, I do not consider it a comedy. And I DEFINITELY do not consider it a Rom-Com. It was a drama with a delightful amount of humor.
I have not seen Les Mis, so I cannot really judge between them. But I will say that we have seen Les Mis a hundred times and Silver Linings is new and refreshing. But I was not at all expecting it to win, even though I sure wish it had.
Stephen Spielberg for Lincoln, Quentin Tarantino for Django Unchained
(Have not seen Life of Pi or Django Unchained)
My Prediction: Kathryn Bigelow
My Choice: Ben Affleck
Winner: Ben Affleck
My Take: Much like I said above for Argo, it was just a step above. ZDT was exciting and interesting and, yes, well-directed. But Argo was better. I was so happy for him. To go from where he was just years ago – a (not really respected) supporting actor who gained stardom on Matt Damon’s coat tails – to beating Spielberg, Lee and Tarantino for Best Director??!! You go, guy. As I said last night on Twitter:
He Said, “You can all suck my Gigli now!”
Zero Dark Thirty, Argo, Lincoln, Django Unchained, Silver Linings Playbook
(Have not seen Django Unchained)
My Prediction: Lincoln
My Choice: Silver Linings Playbook
Winner: Django Unchained
My Take: I think Lincoln will win because for some reason it seems it would be more difficult to take an actual, well documented moment in history and write it in a way that really grabs ahold of the audience and remains true to the story. Lincoln was truly a remarkable movie and from what I hear, pretty accurate.
While I think Lincoln will win, I have my underdog hopes for SLP. I just favored the writing and felt it really captured these personalities which many of us may find familiar…to a degree. Some think it was full of stereotypes and unbelievable caricatures of mental illness. I don’t agree. I think most of us are on some spectrum of some kind of “mental illness”. And I don’t think we are so easily defined by a DSM code. This movie did an awesome job of letting the audience know that with or without the need for medication or therapy – we are all kinda weird and we all have a place in this world and a person meant to love us.
I have not seen Django so I cannot comment on it’s win. But Tarantino’s speech SUCKED!! What is wrong with these people? They can write an award winning movie script but can’t come up with an tolerable acceptance speech? WTH.
Daniel Day-Lewis for Lincoln, Richard Gere for Arbitrage, John Hawkes for The Sessions,
Joaquin Phoenix for The Master, Denzel Washington for Flight
(have not yet seen The Master or The Sessions)
My Prediction: Daniel Day-Lewis
My Choice: Daniel Day-Lewis
My Take: Lewis just really transformed himself in the way he always seems to – he is one of those actors who truly does this work for the craft and not the celebrity. Playing one of the most famous people in our entire history – he was under a magnifying glass 100 times the strength to which most actors are subjected. He didn’t just play Lincoln, he BECAME Lincoln.
Close second would be Washington (Hey!! Lincoln and Washington!! Sorry…). His role in Flight was very impressive.
I would have REALLY like to see Anthony Hopkins on this list for Hitchcock. He was perfect and I was just fascinated by his portrayal. Really quite loved it, actually.
Gere is always a good actor. But this nomination baffles me. Didn’t think it was all that great at all. And the movie bored me to tears.
Actor, Comedy or Musical
Jack Black for Bernie, Bradley Cooper for Silver Linings Playbook,
Hugh Jackman for Les Miserables, Ewan McGregor for Salmon Fishing on the Yemen,
Bill Murray for Hyde Park on the Hudson
(Have ONLY seen Silver Linings Playbook)
My Prediction: Hugh Jackman
My Choice: Bradley Cooper
Winner: Hugh Jackman
My Take: Hugh will take it because he is just the ultimate Hollywood sweetheart with all his singin’ and dancin’ and Wolverine silliness. But Bradley Cooper was such a surprising joy in SLP that I would love for him to get the award. He played this manic, obsessed, tortured weirdo just perfectly. He stepped into the drama pond and got soaked. I was more than pleased with his performance and can’t wait to see more.
Jessica Chastain for Zero Dark Thirty, Marion Cotillard for Rust and Bone,
Helen Mirren for Hitchcock, Naomi Watts for The Impossible,
Rachel Weisz for The Deep Blue Sea
(have not yet seem Rust and Bone or Deep Blue Sea)
My Prediction: Jessica Chastain
My Choice: Naomi Watts
Winner: Jessica Chastain
My Take: Was The Impossible one of the best movies ever? Nope. One of the best of the year? Not really. But Naomi Watts was fantastic in this role. When she was struggling in the water, you held your breath. When she was walking with a punctured leg, you could feel that twinge. When she was dying in the “hospital”, you could sense her weakness. This was a difficult and physical role and she could not have done a single thing better. And Watts took her inspiration from the woman she played. She worked closely with her and made sure she gave a completely authentic performance.
There is no surprise that Chastain won. And she was really quite good, so no boos from me. And I also found her reaction to the win very believable (sometimes they are painfully obvious in their fake surprise and gratitude). It was touching.
Actress, Comedy or Musical
Emily Blunt for Salmon Fishing on the Yemen, Judi Dench for The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel,
Jennifer Lawrence for Silver Linings Playbook, Maggie Smith for Quartet,
Meryl Streep for Hope Springs
(Have ONLY seen Silver Linings Playbook)
My Prediction: Meryl Streep
My Choice: Jennifer Lawrence
Winner: Jennifer Lawrence
My Take: Having only seen one movie in this catagory – my judgment cannot really be taken seriously. I chose Streep because – DUH! She wins everything. So, it was an obvious bet. However, Lawrence was fabulous in SLP. I was not familiar with her work prior to this film. I never watched Hunger Games or any of her other movies. I had no opinion of her before watching SLP. But she took this quirky, odd, obnoxious character and made her likeable and interesting. She was funny and dramatic and really did a fine job. Well earned win for sure.
I also LOVED her dress last night. She looked fabulous even with the flu. She was asked how she was going to celebrate and she said “with Nyquil and Tamiflu”. I can’t look half that good on my best day. Bitch.
Alan Arkin for Argo, Leonardo DiCaprio Django Unchained,
Philip Seymour Hoffman for The Master,
Tommy Lee Jones for Lincoln, Kristof Waltz for Django Unchained
(Have ONLY seen Argo and Lincoln)
My Prediction: Tommy Lee Jones
My Choice: Alan Arkin
Winner: Kristof Waltz
My Take: Again, having only seen two of the films – it was hard to predict. Tommy Lee Jones (who, by the way, looked like the grumpiness troll in the room last night – WTF was his deal??!!) is always a favorite of LaLaLand, so I figured he had a good chance. Was he super great in Lincoln? I dunno. I think he just played Tommy Lee Jones in a wig quite honestly.
Alan Arkin? I will always vote for him. I think he was a fantastic joy and I just love him. And he did add an appreciated humor to Argo.
Kristof Waltz. Even though I have not yet watched Django, I am happy about this win. He was wonderful in Inglorious Bastards and I also really liked him a lot on Carnage. So I approve this win.
Amy Adams for The Master, Sally Field for Lincoln, Anne Hathaway for Les Miserables,
Helen Hunt for The Sessions, Nicole Kidman for Paperboy
(Have ONLY seen Lincoln and The Sessions)
My Prediction: Anne Hathaway
My Choice: Sally Field
Winner: Anne Hathaway
My Take: I know that this statement will be met with disdain. But Anne Hathaway gets on my nerves. I think she is phony, overly cheery and just annoying. But I get that EVERYbody loves her – so I fully expect her to win. She can sing, act, she’s beautiful…yea yea yea. But for some reason I just can’t really explain – I’m over her.
Sally I picked because, honestly, when in doubt – pick Sally Field.
I like Helen Hunt a lot. And The Sessions was okay. But I really don’t get this nomination. I found nothing extraordinary about this performance.
Best of the Boob Tube
Best TV Series, Drama
Breaking Bad, Boardwalk Empire, Downton Abbey, Homeland, The Newsroom
(I have never seen Downton Abbey)
My Prediction: Homeland
My Choice: Breaking Bad
My Take: This is tough. Breaking Bad, Homeland and Newsroom are all three of my most favorite shows. I think they are all beyond excellent and look forward to each one. But Breaking Bad is s step above with story line and acting. It has so much suspense and unexpectedness. And these same things – including the remarkable acting – can indeed be said for Homeland, this coming season will be the last for Breaking Bad – so it really should go to that one. I have absolutely obsessed over Breaking Bad for many seasons and I will be super sad to see it go.
Again, I DO love Homeland nearly to an equal level and I look forward to many more seasons. Same with Newsroom. While I wouldn’t put the acting on the same high shelf as Homeland or BB – because Claire Danes, Damien Lewis and Bryan Cranston really take the bomb frosted meth cake – Newsroom makes up for anything lacking with its writing.
Best TV Series, Comedy or Musical
The Big Bang, Episodes, Girls, Modern Family, Smash
(Have not seen Episode or Smash)
My Prediction: Modern Family
My Choice: Girls
My Take: Don’t get me wrong…I adore Modern Family. It is hilarious and touching…and did I mention, hilarious?? Modern Family is a true joy and is quite deserving of any award. The reason I am chosing Girls is because it is daring and risky and really quite unique. I guarantee you have not seen a show like this one. While many may not relate to these carefree, at times reprehensible lifestyles – many of us actually can to some degree. It is honest and raw and at the same time extremely witty. It is not a show for the weak of heart or the stuffiest of prudes. There are moments you will feel embarrassed and moments you may gasp. But that is truly what makes it as cool as it is. I hope to see many future seasons.
I was shocked and elated that Girls took home the award last night. Great news!! Maybe they are finally opening their minds, eh? Very cool.
Big Bang? Holy done with it Batman!! Come on already. It’s ok. It’s cute. But to be constantly nominated…I don’t really get it. Especially above others like Nurse Jackie, VEEP, Wilfred, Louie or The Big C. And Smash…sorry, but you’d have to pay me to watch.
Steve Buscemi for Boardwalk Empire, Bryan Cranston for Breaking Bad,
Jeff Daniels for The Newsroom, Jon Hamm for Mad Men,
Damien Lewis for Homeland
My Prediction: Damien Lewis
My Choice: Bryan Cranston
Winner: Damien Lewis
My Take: Well this is pretty much the same as my explanation above. Damien and Bryan are both excellent. The others are good, but do not come close. Bryan wins out for me because he is a step above. His acting in this series has been some of the best on television for years. The metamorphosis of his character has been perfectly portrayed and I am on constant awe of his talent in this role.
Actor, Comedy or Musical
Alec Baldwin for 30 Rock, Don Cheadle for House of Lies, Louis CK for Louie,
Matt LeBlanc for Episodes, Jim Parsons for Big Bang Theory
(Have never seen Episodes)
My Prediction: Jim Parsons
My Choice: Louis CK
Winner: Don Cheadle
My Take: I love Don Cheadle, but have yet to watch House of Lies. I will be very soon, however, catching up on that one. Jim Parsons is funny on BBT. It’s a cute show. But all of these awards and nominations are kind of ridiculous and I really don’t get it. There are so many funny guys on TV right now – I just don’t agree with this choice AT ALL.
Connie Britton for Nashville, Glenn Close for Damages,
Claire Danes for Homeland, Michelle Dockery for Downton Abbey,
Julianna Margulies for The Good Wife
(Have never seen Downton Abbey)
My Prediction: Claire Danes
My Choice: Clarie Danes
Winner: Claire Danes
My Take: This was quite simply a no-brainer. Some of the best acting on TV. Period. Having known people with bi-polar – she plays this role to perfection. She is over the top but in a realistic way. And what an exhausting role! Completely deserved. And again…I really want that dress!!
Juliana Margulies? I do not understand why her and Archie Panjabi are consistently being nominated for their roles on The Good Wife. I mean, it’s a decent show. I watch it. I like it. But their performances are not nearly award worthy. It’s weird how they keep getting on these lists.
I also feel that Connie Britton is an odd choice. I have seen several episodes of Nashville and really I don’t see this great acting from anyone on that show. Connie’s character seems like all her other roles to be quite honest. I like her and all. She’s cute. But it always seems like she is just playing herself.
Actress, Comedy or Musical
Zooey Deschanel for New Girl, Julia Louis Dreyfus for VEEP, Lena Dunham for Girls,
Tina Fey for 30 Rock, Amy Poehler for Parks and Recreation
My Prediction: Amy Poehler
My Choice: Lena Dunham
Winner: Lena Dunham
My Take: Zooey Deschanel and New Girl are both incredibly obnoxious. And not in a cute way. Even her iPhone commercial got on my last damn nerve. Man she rubs me the wrong way. Quit acting like you’re a toddler – it’s fucking weird.
Love love love Julia and VEEP. Tina and Amy are obviously both very funny and did a wonderful job as hosts – I was pleasantly surprised. I was salty that Ricky Gervais didn’t come back to host…but these ladies did a fantastic job and were both very funny.
Lena Dunham created Girls. She directs, writes and stars in Girls. She is 26. Come on!! This chic is going to go way far. I mean, she is STARTING off her career with a Golden Globe for Christ sake!! She is awesome and I want to be her when I grow young.
Actor, TV Movie
Kevin Costner for Hatfields and McCoys, Benedict Cumberbatch for Sherlock,
Woodey Harrelson for Game Change,Tobey Jones for The Girl,
Clive Owen for Hemingway and Gellhorn
(Have ONLY seen Game Change and Hemingway & Gellhorn)
My Prediction: Benedict Cumberbatch
My Choice: Clive Owen
Winner: Kevin Costner
My Take: Again, having only seen two of these, it was a crap shoot. I predict Cumberbatch because everyone seems to love this Sherlock show. Very popular. I picked Clive Owen because…well, he is my boyfriend and I do have some sense of loyalty. Kevin Costner is yucky. I don’t know why but he bothers me. And his speech was weird and lame.
Actress, TV Movie
Nicole Kidman for Hemingway and Gellhorn, Jessica Lange for American Horror Story,
Sienna Miller for The Girl, Julianne Moore for Game Change,
Sigourney Weaver for Political Animal
(Have not seen The Girl)
My Prediction: Julianne Moore
My Choice: Jessica Lange
Winner: Julianne Moore
My Take: Julianne Moore will win this without a doubt. The role was immensely popular and she was fabulous. I mean, she played Palin to a T. But I have to say that in my humble opinion, Jessica Lange in AHS is by far thee best acting I have seen on TV in years. Many years. She is nothing short of incredible. And it saddens me that she is not getting the recognition she so very much deserves.
Hayden Panettiere for Nashville, Archie Panjabi for The Good Wife, Sarah Paulson for Game Change,
Maggie Smith for Downton Abbey, Sofia Vergara for Modern Family
(Have not seen Downton Abbey)
My Prediction: Maggie Smith
My Choice: Sofia Vergara
Winner: Maggie Smith
My Take: Downton Abbey has just become so popular that this seemed like a clear prediction. Still not sure if this show is for me. I dunno…maybe I will give it a go. Hayden and Archie do not even belong on this list. Sofia is really the only one I know and like, so this is my choice. But this category is lame as shit this year.
Max Greenfield for New Girl, Ed Harris for Game Change, Danny Huston for Magic City,
Mandy Patinkin for Homeland, Eric Stonestreet for Modern Family
(Have NOT seen Magic City)
My Prediction: Eric Stonestreet
My Choice: Eric Stonestreet
Winner: Ed Harris
My Take: I wouldn’t mind a win for either Mandy or Eric. They are both great. Eric, however, consistently cracks me up every single week. He is just absolutely hysterical on Modern Family. Brings me much joy.
Ed Harris…I didn’t see it. I mean, I have always liked him a lot. GREAT actor. In Game Change? Nothing memorable. Blah.
Game Change, The Girl, Hatfields and McCoys, The Hour, Political Animal
(Have ONLY seen Game Change and Political Animal)
My Prediction: Game Change
My Choice: Game Change
Winner: Game Change
My Take: Funny, interesting, fascinating, well acted. Yea, good movie. I’ll take it.
Some various notes on the ceremony…
Some of my favorite dresses were worn by Selma Hayek, Tina Fey (Red Carpet), Jennifer Lawrence, Jennifer Garner and I think my number one would be Claire Danes.
Some of the worst dressed of the night: Halle Berry, Nicole Richie, Emily Blunt, Lucy Liu and Julianne Moore
Last night was an unfortunate venue for some of thee worst plastic surgery I have seen in a while. What is with these people?! They are so gorgeous to begin with and they are destroying themselves!! It is sad and weird and kinda gross. Stop it guys, seriously.
Bill Clinton. BOY!! Did he walk into a room of disciples or what?? It was really fun to watch how excited the audience became when he – as surprise guest – walked on stage to introduce the movie Lincoln. I thought Spielberg was going to drop dead with a boner. It really was pretty damn cool. And it gave Amy Poehler one of her best lines of the night, “That was Hillary Clinton’s husband!!!”
I noticed more last night than in any other awards ceremony the disappointment on the faces of the losers. Glenn Close and others looked visibly upset when their names were not called. I mean, obviously it is human nature to want to win. But it was odd to see that people aren’t even faking their dismissal of an award anymore.
All in all it was a decent show. Funny hosts, short speeches and I was very happy with the wins for Girls and Argo.
And let’s face it…we all enjoyed it more than this guy: